Tuesday, 16 September 2014

#WeAreLiverpool

Excellent start to my Redmen's return to the Champions League, this evening!!


Certainly helped to lighten my mood!

Nighty Night!!

Sunday, 14 September 2014

The IS/ISIS giving Muslims a bad name.

Like the rest of the civilised world, I have been horrified by the news in recent weeks of three individuals being murdered by the Islamic State. The Islamic State. How fucking self righteous can you fucking get? These people want a worldwide caliphate believing in their warped ideology. And that is all it is. Islam is a religion of peace. Unfortunately, like the morons of the Westboro Baptist Church, or the Orange Order, these twats like to interpret the book of The Lord to their twisted and warped beliefs. 

Glorious. 

What can the world do? Fuck knows. It's not like we've been in Iraq before now...

Aah. 

Perhaps we should be learning from our mistakes before and implore the regional governments there to get involved, which is what Obama is doing to be fair.  The last thing we should be doing is doing the murderers work for them.

My condolences go out to the families and friends of those lost. 

Saturday, 13 September 2014

Wild Culture - Fade (Original Mix)





Been out for a good while, but absolutely love playing this in the early part of my sets!

Friday, 12 September 2014

Ten Walls - Requiem (Original Mix)





Fuck it!



One more, although this is almost a year old, its still a tune that I try my utmost to get into my early evening sets - as its just got that vibe that you want!

Harry Romero - Tania (Filterheadz Remix)





One more for this morning - the best in an remarkable remix package from Toolroom. This by Filterheadz is fucking epic!



I'm gonna be trying my best to send links to videos showing what I'm playing and recommending to all you good people out there!!

Erik Hagleton - Pressure (Original Club Mix)





Been fucking massive this tune all summer for us lot! Been hammering this as much as possible!

Oliver $ & Jimi Jules - Pushing On (Official Video)





Definitely one for the 90s crowd. Got that vibe all over it!

Ten Walls - Walking With Elephants





Possibly, the defining tune of the summer.

Where Are They Now?





Don't tell me this hasn't cheered you up!!!

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Warning Signs

Fucking hell!!

Well, this is now starting to worry me a fair bit. This rut that I have been in for the last few weeks - say six weeks or so I reckon is now getting towards a point where it needs to subside for my sake. 

Am still awaiting a date for my CBT therapy to begin and perhaps that is something that is getting to me now. I have been warned before that this was never going to be a quick fix and so in that regard perhaps I need to be a little more circumspect in that regard. 

On the positive side of life, because it's fucking imperative that we continue to do that - we've hit three gigs this weekend including a wedding - so am continue to look ahead along those lines.  Though I must try and cut down on the comfort eating because that is starting to cause its own issues which I worked ridiculously hard for so long to get sorted. 

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

At least Alcohol can't speak!


After a weekend, which has involved no DJing apart fom doing my Summer Promo Part 2 - which is in essence just Part 1 in fact (!), and has involved two consecutive nights of heading down to Folkestone's Cattle Market, I mean the Priz, or Indigo, or Onyx, or whatever its called this month - after getting trollied - without any expectation of that happening - I cannot help but have an ever bigger thought of emptiness - similar I would presume to how those rockers would feel after having one of their 'Lost Weekends' in the late 70s. 
 
Lost Weekends. Yep, that's how they seem to feel to me right now - you can do so much over those two Sabbathical days, but they always tend to end up in a debauchery of J√°ger and Sambuca, with a healthy (or unhealthy) dosage of Vodka.  What is it about our mentality as a people that after a heavy week of work, that our only response to it all is to drink to get drunk. To forget about the stresses of the past week - apart from as my mother keeps on telling me before and after an heavy night, it will catch up with you in the end.
 
There has been a lot of media coverage over the past five years - probably since the financial crisis of 2008 - about how we as a country seem hellbent on drinking ourselves to death - and its does make me wonder whether the stresses of work, family life and finances - particularly when people are still after so long, needing to pull back the purse strings to - in more and more cases, just to survive. The amount of children who are living below the poverty line in this country is shameful on a society where people are told to look after number one - no such thing as Dave's Big Society anymore. Each to their own.
 
I go home after a long day at work, and all I want to do is cry my eyes, because in my eyes - there is no one for me to turn to. Now in the cold light of day I know that is a load of old pap - but when you're that low, dejected and helpless - all semblance of reality falls by the wayside.  There are people there for me I know, but when you are so low, that you actually don't want to have to venture out and speak to anyone - nightmares take on a new meaning.
 
B x

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Looking Into The Rabbit Hole

Bonjour, or Bonsoir!
 
Yet another busy weekend goes into the distance, I am getting more and more concerned that I am distancing myself from my friends and family as the DJing begins to really go off.  Friends and Family are the most important thing in my life, and yet whether I feel down and disheartned for any reason whatsoever - I feel that I have no one at all to turn to - this is particularly the case late at night - say after a gig and the euphoria has subsided - that is when I feel somewhat depressed - and this has resulted in several episodes of substance abuse - as I try to get myself up to that mood before heading to bed - I tend to find that I cannot sleep when depressed, which in itself is affecting my performance in my day job - contrary to what management think!
 
Somedays at work, I do feel like I'm in a cocoon, away from everyone - even though people are feet away from me - that is very hard to describe in detail how it feels to be like that.  Being alone in a crowded place like a train or bus is one thing, having those same thoughts when surrounded by friends and family is another thing altogether - frightening and scary.
 
I have been referred to an counselling service in Dover for Congitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - probably some years after I should have had it in the first place to deal with my issues - but they have become much more fundamental than just my child hood issues. That is the problem - I have been having anxiety attacks on a regular basis - even thinking about such issues is causing problems nowadays.  And yet, as soon as I get into that DJ booth on a Friday or Saturday evening - it all goes - there is no issues, there are up to that point - but as soon as the first beat drops - it goes. 
 
So the question that needs to be asked is this.  Is the DJing being the alternative medication that I think it is - and if it is - what on earth does that say for my mental wellbeing over the past decade or so, that I have become so enveloped in playing out - and yet for any normal person, the thought of doing just that would frighten people to near death!
 
B x